When 14-year-old Lillian Marie Pierce died, her parents wanted nothing more than to die, too.

Now, though still struggling over two years later, they want to help other people cope with loss.

“I couldn’t get dressed, I wouldn’t eat, I couldn’t even feed myself,” said David Pierce, Lilli’s father. “I didn’t want to live.”

David, 41, and Judy Pierce, 39, moved to Cape Coral from Colorado with their daughter, in July of 1999. Just four months later their newfound dreams were shattered when police officers showed up at their doorstep the night of Nov. 12, 1999, and escorted them to Cape Coral Hospital, where they were told their only daughter was dead.

Police say Lilli, a ninth-grader at Cape Coral High School at the time, was trying to run across Del Prado Boulevard near the Coralwood Shopping Center at Southeast 22nd Terrace when she was struck by a teen-age driver. Two girls crossing with Lilli stopped in the median and weren’t hurt.

“It was a no fault accident,” said David Pierce.

“She hadn’t realized she had hit a person. It was so dark that night,” said Judy Pierce, referring to the driver of the car.

Lilli

The Pierce’s say they feel for the teen-age driver who killed their daughter.

“At 18, to have this over your head,” said a saddened Judy Pierce.

“We want her to know we love her and we care about her and we realize this was an accident,” said David Pierce.

Depressed and lifeless, the Pierce’s continued with their lives the best they could — which they say wasn’t well at all.

They say they survived because of the support from the community, the Unity Church of Fort Myers, and ongoing phone calls from Lilli’s friends.

Despite the support, the couple disliked their jobs, saw no reason to breathe and felt as if their insides had been shredded.

They wanted to stop working and get away, but they couldn’t afford it. Then one afternoon a lawyer called with a large settlement amount. The Pierces would not reveal that amount.

The Pierce’s were shocked. They took the money and moved to Fort Myers, where they finally bought their home. They gave some of the money to family and friends and used most of what was left to buy a truck and a trailer.

Looking for Lilli Tours

A look at two trips made by David and Judy Pierce on what they called their “Looking for Lilli Tours.” PART ONE: May 10, 2000, to Oct. 22, 2000. Traveled to 58 cities in 20 states and Canada PART TWO: Early May 2001 to late August 2001. Traveled to 29 cities in 15 states. TOTAL DISTANCE: More than 45,000 miles ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Gained perspective on life, inspiration for book: “Looking For Lilli: Living With the Death of Our Only Child;” desire to open a grieving center ONLINE: http://www.lillipierce.com/

Then they decided to embark on a cross-country trip to find reasons why they should keep living.

“I decided that if I have to be alive it was going to be for a damn good reason,” said David Pierce.

That reason, it turns out, is to help others cope with their grief.

“There’s an unspoken feeling that after two weeks or so you have to get over it,” said David Pierce, annoyed by society’s way of dealing with death.

David and Judy Pierce traveled more than 45,000 miles on two trips, both called “Looking for Lilli,” part one and two, respectively.

In part one, they visited 58 cities in 20 states and Canada. They left on May 10, 2000, the day before what would have been Lilli’s 15th birthday, and returned on Oct. 22, 2000.

In part two, they stopped in 29 cities and 15 states. Again, leaving their home in Fort Myers in early May of 2001 and returning in late August of that year.

By the end of their trips, the Pierces concluded that life is precious.

“We need not to take life for granted,” said Judy Pierce, who said she found the world’s nooks and crannies to be filled with good-hearted and welcoming people.

David Pierce kept a journal. He jotted down every city on his route. His scribbles show the couple zig-zagged the United States and went as far west as Vancouver, British Columbia, and as far east to visit small towns in the Carolinas. Every trip included multiple stops in Colorado—the state where Lilli is buried.

Excerpts from the journal, along with reflections from Judy and David Pierce, are being compiled for a book called “Looking For Lilli: Living With the Death of Our Only Child.” A condensed version of the story is online at www.lillipierce.com/lfl1.htm.

The Web site version is mostly the physical action of the journey. The book, will interweave travel adventure and philosophy.

Pierce hopes to have his book proposal on the way to agents in about two weeks.

But it doesn’t end there.

David and Judy Pierce want to start a nonprofit grief center. The couple said they fell in love with the natural beauty and energy of Asheville, N.C., and are striving toward starting it there.

“Like an emotional co-op,” said Judy Pierce, describing the prospective camp-like center.

David Pierce said the goal of the center would be to allow people the time to fully grieve loss in a safe atmosphere. He calls the center a place for “transformation grieving,” which means grief isn’t dissolved but used as a catalyst for change, hopefully a positive one.

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